30 signs you’ve lived in Beer Sheva for too long

This is a non-exhaustive list, feel free to add your thoughts!

1. You only own one pair of pants because you spend most of the year in shorts or dresses and never took the time to replace the old ones that went bad.

2. You brought heels from home that you have never worn here.

3. Going anywhere else is exciting.

4. You know all the bars in town, all the 6 of them, when they are closed, when they have bracelet nights, who goes where, the barmen’s names, which one will give you free chasers.

5. You have seen more camels than cows in the past year.

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Photo: Meni Hersch

6. You have encountered horses at the supermarket.

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7. You have found a gecko in your living room.IMG_3771

8. You know it’s winter when the floor of your bathroom is not dry yet when you finish your shower.

9. You spend shabbat at the pool or at home because there is absolutely nothing else to do and you can’t stand trans music in the afternoon.

10. You stopped feeling sorry for the dirty kittens in the trash.

11. You have been bitten by a street cat, got an infection and learnt the hard way to stay far from them.

12. You forgot the taste of fish. Come on, we are not that far from the sea!

13. You forgot the taste of red meat. Why does it always have to be grinded ?

14. You can’t count how many time you ate fallafel last week.

15. You gave up on the idea of taking the bus because you always arrive at destination before it.

16. You don’t try to go out when it’s raining because no one will want to come with you and the shops will be probably closed anyway.

17. You know that Gimmel is far from Bet.

18. But that Bet is close to Gimmel.

19. The Old City is far from everywhere.

20. When people from abroad ask what there is to visit there, you answer that it’s close to Mitzpe Ramon/the Dead Sea/Jerusalem etc…

21. When you want to leave to anywhere else.

22. When you gave up on finding a 30+ single guy who is not an “arse”.

23. When you miss it as soon as you are far…

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Photo: Dani Machlis

EDIT: I am adding to the list my friends’ brilliant comments:

24. When speaking to a woman with blue eyebrows becomes normal.

25. Disregard for all “lines up”.

26. When you are not surprised that 6 cars stop and the drivers ask you “how much?” while you’re waiting for your friend, and this no matter what you are wearing or the fact that you are holding a tupperware.

27. When you know all the words to every mizrachi song at the wedding. And find yourself shouting lillilil to it…

28. When you hug the mayor Rubik more often than your own mother.

29. When you actually appreciate when someone in the car behind you honks at you because the traffic light already turned green but you were too busy checking your phone.

30. When you’re not surprised that the mom of your 30 year-old, married neighbor comes to bring him food only wearing pajamas and slippers…

30 signs you’ve been in Israel for too long

I read this post earlier today and had a good laugh, because it doesn’t apply to Tel Aviv only but rather to Israel in general. I might do a similar list for Beer Sheva one day but for now I will only add few more points to this list:

21. Your bike has been stolen in less than 3 months.

22. You are more afraid of being overdressed than under-dressed when you didn’t even think that such a concept existed.

23. You see your face or your friend’s on some rando’s fridge because they were at the same wedding as you and you ended up on their magnet.

24. You wear winter clothes the second day of rain and complain about the cold when the temperature won’t actually go bellow 23 degrees.

25. You use the “rega” (“moment”) more than you want to admit when you found it being the rudest thing ever six months ago. But how do you tell someone to wait for a second when he’s interrupting your conversation with someone else?

26. You notice a BMW in the street because it looks “fancy” (particularly relevant when you come from Switzerland).

27. Working on Sundays has become perfectly natural and you always wonder for a second why your friends on Facebook are posting photos of brunches.

28. You have learnt that rules are mere suggestions, because “they” don’t really mean it.

29. Deadlines are negotiable. In fact, almost anything is negotiable.

30. You feel that you sound like your grandmother when you start a sentence with “During the war…”.

I could probably go on but I will save it for another post.

Bubble Perspectives

After reading 20 signs you’ve been in Sweden too long and finding it pretty interesting and ammusing, since I am Swedish myself, here is my collection of 20 signs you’ve been in Tel Aviv too long.

Photographer: Angelika Nocky Photographer: Angelika Nocky

1. You use the word Yalla for every occasion.

Yalla, is originally an Arabic expression but is also commonly used as a Hebrew slang. It is one of the most usable expressions among Israelis in daily life, and depending on the ciromstances it can mean hurry up, come on, let’s go, sure, bye, let’s hang up, I’m in… If you used to find the expression a bit odd at first, you have now successfully made it a part of your own vocabulary and know how to use it with the right tone of voice to call for action, replace a sentence, or answer a question.

2. You always show up…

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